Where is God

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous.

They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.

The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?! Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE is GOD?!"

The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time!" "GOD is missing, and they think WE did it!"

Dear God

Dear God

A Nun asked her young class to write notes to God. Here were some of the notes they handed in:

Dear God, I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool.

Dear God, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you have.

Dear God, Maybe Cain and Abel would not have killed each other so much if they had their own rooms. That's what my Mom did for me and my brother.

Dear God, If you watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show you my new shoes.

Dear God, I bet it is hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I am having a hard time loving all of them.


Dear God, Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he keeps using those bowling ball words in the house?

Dear God, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?

Dear God, Who draws the lines around the countries?

Dear God, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is this okay?

Dear God, Do you really mean "Do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if you did, I am going to get my brother good.

Dear God, Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.

Dear God, Please send me a pony, I never asked for anything before, you can look it up.

Dear God, I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big, but with not so much hair all over.

Dear God, You don't have to worry about me, I always look both ways.

Dear God, I think about you sometimes even when I am not praying.

Dear God, Of all the people who work for you, I like Noah and David best.

Dear God, My brother told me about being born, but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they?

Thomas Edison made light, but in Sunday School they said you did. So I bet he stole your idea.

Little John the Baptist

Little John the Baptist

Matt..18:4-5
"Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
And who ever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. "





Johnny's Mother looked out the window and noticed him "playing church" with their cat.

He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work.

A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.

She called out, "Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!"

Johnny looked up at her and said, "He should have thought about that before he joined my church."

Grace

Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant. My six year old grandson asked if he could say grace.

As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Nana gets us ice cream for dessert. And liberty and justice for all! Amen!"

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"

Hearing this, my grand-son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?"

As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.

He winked at my grandson and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."

"Really?" my grandson asked.

"Cross my heart," the man replied.

Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, I bought my grandchildren ice cream at the end of the meal. My grandson stared at his for a moment, and then did something I will remember the rest of my life.

He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes; and my soul is good already."


I hope you find some ice cream

Pre-Schooler test............. Think about this.

Pre-Schooler test............. Think about this.

Dumber than the fifth graders........ Now it's the pre-schoolers.

A PRE-SCHOOL TEST FOR YOU

Which way is the bus below traveling?
To the left or to the right?




Can't make up your mind? Look carefully at the picture again.

Still don't know?


Pre-Schoolers all over the United States
were shown this picture and asked the same question.
80% of the Pre-Schoolers gave this answer.
"The bus is traveling to the left."

When asked "Why do you think the bus is traveling to the left?"

They answered:
"Because you can't see the door to get on the bus."

How do you feel now ???



I know, me too..
Have a nice day!

3rd grade sing a song for the soldiers !!!! You'll love it!

Didn't know if you've seen this.




Just beautiful !

After all the bad press over a few teachers
who stepped out of line teaching songs to our children, this one is one you will be so proud to hear. At the end of the song you can order
the sheet music.

Awesome. I hope this sweeps our country and
gets sung in all our schools. The music
teacher wrote the song and had all the third
graders sing. Enjoy -- great message.

From the third graders of Tussing Elementary,
Colonial Heights , Virginia .


www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=5pfBUUZNbFM

7 Reasons Not To Mess With Children

A little girl was

talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a
human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very
small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;
it was physically impossible.

The little girl said,"When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

The teacher asked,"What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied,"Then

you ask him."




A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while

they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what
the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl
replied, "They will in a minute."




A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother,
she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our
brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,
"Thou shall not kill."




One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at
the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands
of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your
hairs white, Mum?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make
me cry or unhappy, one of my

hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
"Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"






The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up
and say, "There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer," or "That's Michael, He's a
doctor."

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
teacher, she's dead."





A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."




I LIKE THE NEXT ONE IN PARTICULAR


The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The
nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

kid think they are cute

I have notice that the pants I got when I started in January my pants getting loser and my shirts I got last month are to lose in the shoulders.

well today I was bending over and my 10 year old said mommy pull up your pants I see your underwear (I am always yelling at him to pull up his pants or put on his belt) well I told him my pants where up as far as they could go, he said put on a belt I told him my pants did not have loops to but a belt threw. I told him my my waist is smaller then when i got the pants he looked at me and walked away.

I think its time to start to wear normal pants not the ones that have elastic. My shorts I got last month is to big also.

so even if the scale does not move your inches does. Only thing is you lose it more in place you really do not need to lose it then where you want to lose it.