Friday, May 24, 2013
Bible Study Humor LOT ' S WIFEThe Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot ' s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, ' My Mommy looked back once while she was driving, ' he announced triumphantly, ' and she turned into a telephone pole! ' GOOD SAMARITAN A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, ' If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do? 'A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, ' I think I'd throw up.' DID NOAH FISH? A Sunday school teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ? ' No, ' replied Johnny. 'How could he, with just two worms.' HIGHER POWER A Sunday school teacher said to her children, 'We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is? One child blurted out, 'Aces!' MOSES AND THE RED SEA Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School. 'Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt . When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved. ' ' Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?' his Mother asked. ' Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!' THIS IS MY FAVORITE!!! THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, ' The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know.' UNANSWERED PRAYER The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. 'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. 'I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon. ' 'How come He doesn't answer it? ' she asked. UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Tommy's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, 'Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing? ' Tommy answered soberly, 'I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He did! ' ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, 'And all girls. ' This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, ' Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls? ' Her response, ' Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying ' All Men ' ! ' SAY A PRAYER Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. 'Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.' said his mother. 'I don't need to', the boy replied. 'Of course, you do.' his mother insisted. 'We always say a prayer before eating at our house.' 'That's at our house.' Johnny explained. 'But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!'
Friday, May 17, 2013
Welcome home blog for Soldier http://welcomehomeblog.com Kitty plays 'Duck Hunt' http://comedy.video.yahoo.com/?v=8176997 Doggie says grace before meal http://purinaanimalallstars.yahoo.com/?v=8301949 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiiX6wntypw&feature=related
Friday, May 3, 2013
Friday, April 19, 2013
STRONG PERSON A strong person knows how to keep their life in order. Even with tears in their eyes, they still manage to say "I'm ok" with a smile. Send this to a strong person. I just did. God is good. Change is coming. God saw your sadness and said hard times are over.
Friday, April 5, 2013
A father wanted to read a magazine but was being bothered by his little girl. She wanted to know what the United States looked like. Finally, he tore a sheet out of his new magazine on which was printed the map of the country. Tearing it into small pieces, he gave it to her and said, 'Go into the other room and see if you can put this together. This will show you our whole country today...'
Friday, March 29, 2013
Friday, March 22, 2013
TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE DESERT . DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE IN THE FACE THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING, WROTE IN THE SAND , TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE . THEY KEPT ON WALKING, UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS, WHERE THEY DECIDED TO TAKE A BATH THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING, BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM. AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM THE NEAR DROWNING, HE WROTE ON A STONE: 'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE' THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND ASKED HIM, 'AFTER I HURT YOU, YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW, YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?' THE FRIEND REPLIED 'WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY. BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR US, WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT' LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE. THEY SAY IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON, AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM, A DAY TO LOVE THEM, BUT THEN , AN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM. SEND THIS TO THE PEOPLE YOU'LL NEVER FORGET
Friday, March 8, 2013
1- Find the C below...do not use any cursor help. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 2- If you already found the C, now find the 6 below. 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 69999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3 - Now find the N below. It's a little more difficult. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM This is NOT a joke. If you were able to pass these three tests, you can cancel your annual visit to your neurologist. Your brain is great and you're far from having a close relationship with Mr Alzheimer. Eonvrye whocan raed this rsaie your hnad. To my 'selected' strange-minded friends: If you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends and the person that sent it to you with 'yes' in the subject line... Only great minds can read this This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid too Can you raed this? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this forwrad it
Friday, February 22, 2013
Friday, February 8, 2013
Friday, January 25, 2013
In the name of Love A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and he handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said: For cutting the grass $5.00 For cleaning my room this week $1.00 For going to the store for you .50 Baby-sitting while you went shopping .25 Taking out the garbage $1.00 For getting a good report card $5.00 For cleaning up and raking the yard $2.00 Total Owed: $14.75 Well, I'll tell you, his mother looked at him standing there expectantly, and boy, could I see the memories flashing through her mind. So she picked up the pen, turned over the paper he'd written on, and this is what she wrote: For the nine months I carried you while you grew inside me, No Charge. For all the nights I've sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you, No Charge. For all the trying times, and all the tears you've caused through the years, No Charge. When you add it all up, the cost of my love is, No Charge. For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead, No Charge. For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose, there's No Charge, Son. And when you add it all up, the full cost of real love is No Charge. Well, friends, when our son finished reading what his mother had written, there were great big old tears in his eyes, and he looked straight up at his mother and said, "Mom, I sure do love you." And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote : "PAID IN FULL."