Color is Good

Yesterday I went to the doctor For my yearly physical. My blood pressure was high. My cholesterol was high. I'd gained some weight, and I didn't feel so hot. My doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. He said: Just think in colors. Fill your plate with bright colors. Try some greens, oranges, reds, maybe something yellow, etc. and eat an entire bowl of bright colors.

And Sure Enough, I Felt Better Immediately!! I never knew eating right could be so easy!!

Now stay healthy, eat your colors, and have a nice day!

Dear God, My prayer for 2012 is for A fat bank account & a thin body. Please don't mix these up like you did last year. AMEN!

AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES: lol

some of these are funny and some maybe not so, but worth the post anyway. AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES: 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK. 3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER 4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON. 5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE TOO AFRAID TO COUGH. 6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE. 7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM. DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

The preachers Son

An old
Country preacher......
had
A teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some
Thought to choosing a profession. Like many young Men his Age, the
boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he Didn't seem too
concerned about it. One day, while the boy Was away at school, his
father decided to try an experiment. He Went into the boy's room and
placed on his study table four Objects.

1.
A
Bible.....?


2.
A silver
Dollar.....?

3.
A bottle of
Whisky.....?

4. And a Playboy
Magazine.....?

'I'll just hide behind the Door,' the old preacher said to himself.
'When he comes home From school today, I'll see which object he
picks Up.

If it's the Bible, he's Going to be a preacher like me, and what a
Blessing that would Be!

If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that
would be okay, Too.

But if he picks up the Bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken
bum, and Lord, what a Shame that would be.

And worst of all if he Picks up that magazine he's going to be
aSkirt-chasing Womanizer.'
The old man waited Anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps as
he entered the House whistling and headed for his Room..

The boy tossed his books on
The bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the Objects on
the table..
With curiosity in his eye, He walked over to inspect them. Finally,
he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up The
silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle
and took a big drink, while he admired This month's centerfold.
'Lord have mercy,' the old Preacher disgustedly
Whispered.
'He's Gonna run for Congress.'